God Hates Lactobacillus-Licking Lesbians

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At least according to the paramilitary wing of the American Family Association he does. They say a TV ad depicting lusty, lascivious, Lactobacillus-licking lesbotic liaisons is inviting divine retribution. I’ve written about probiotics before but this latest storm in a D-Cup takes the discussion to an exciting new level by combining lesbians, religious nutters and microbiology.

What’s not to like?

Well quite a lot if you take any notice of One Million Moms, an organisation that represents literally dozens of raving right-wing bigots. I for one think we should thank them for channeling the anger of their Imaginary Friend in our direction and for warning us the ad is seeking to:

normalize sin by featuring two women naked in bed together

If they realised there are also six species of live bacteria in the product getting in on all this perversion and sin I suspect they would explode in moral indignation. They also point out the ad:

not only promotes same sex relationships by including two lesbians, but also same sex marriage because the two women wear matching wedding bands

I thought my attention to detail was pretty damn good when it comes to footage of naked women in bed together, but I take my hat off to the self-righteous homophobes whose visual acuity is clearly on a different plane to my own. Anyway, you can see the rug-munching masterpiece that’s got the God-bothering bigots so wound up below. You know you want to. 

Let’s just be clear about this protest; it’s not these folks’ homophobia, their astounding ignorance or that they hate lesbians for depriving them of both grandchildren and subservient domestic slaves for their emotionally-retarded sons.

It’s not them, it’s God. As evidenced by:

Biblical truth, which is very clear in Romans 1:26-27 about this particular type of sexual perversion
For those of you unfamiliar with the Pauline Epistles, Romans is one of the nastiest and verses 1:26-7 say – inter alia – that God makes you gay and the “natural use” of women is to be the sexual playthings of men.

The ad’s slogan has got OMMs’ panties in a bunch on their Imaginary Friend’s behalf too: “to love this life is to live it naturally” which compels them to point out:

There is nothing natural about homosexuality

…except for all the inconvenient examples of homosexuality in the animal world, obviously – but to be aware of those you need to have read more than one book. They’re also having a go at the Girl Scouts in a campaign that neatly demonstrates their monolithic ignorance of gender dysphoria and also that they are so dense light will bend around them.

While these fuckwits have a perfect right to be outraged about whatever they want, what they don’t seem to get is the rest of the world also has an equal right not to give a flying fuck what these irrelevant idiots think.

And that we also have a right – nay, a duty – to mercilessly take the piss just in case anyone is stupid enough to listen to them.

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