Some of this content might be accurate and useful as well as amusing (but we do try to avoid accuracy and utility if at all possible) but not only am I providing all this nonsense free, gratis and for nothing, there’s more free stuff on offer too. No self-respecting business should be without the following:
The Most Accurate Flu Poster Ever
The NHS spent millions on the ‘Catch It, Bin It, Kill It’ campaign, no-one understood it or engaged with it so we produced a marvellous A3 poster that actually tells you how flu works and what you can do to avoid it. Or pass it on to someone it might kill.
The Ickiest Norovirus Poster Ever
Norovirus can shut a food business or care home. This is another A3 that gives you the facts rather than just saying ‘wash your hands’ – which will be a fat lot of good as you hug the bog while a gallon of rusty water comes out your Chocolate Starfish like it’s a fire hose…
Most commercial dishwashers don’t get close to the legally required temperature. This thermal sticker will tell you – accurately – whether you need to get it serviced or not. And we’ll send you one. Free. You only need ask.
[notice]Wow! I Can’t Live Without These! What Do I Do?[/notice]
Simple. Subscribe. Like us on Facebook / Share / Tweet / whatever. Put the word on the streets. Pimp yourself out. Then contact me with your details (inc business address so we can send the stuff – duh) and one of the Rectofossal Elves (or similar hobgoblinry) will send it out. Seeemples!