RAI Legal

Obligatory Legal Nonsense

Boring Website Terms and Conditions

[notice]This blog may include sarcastic or snide remarks as well as tirades on any number of subjects so if you’re easily offended bugger off somewhere else. But you can’t say you weren’t warned. This blog is created solely to amuse its author and anyone else who might find this stuff entertaining.[/notice]

Very little care has been taken in the preparation of any information on this site so neither the author nor his employer makes any representation, warranty or guarantee in connection with any content or opinion on this or any of their other websites and to the maximum extent permitted by law we disclaim all liability in respect of such information. In fact it’s probably fair to say the information included in this blog isn’t accurate, comprehensive, verified or complete or fit for any particular purpose which is why we accept no liability for any loss of whatsoever nature or howsoever caused, arising directly or indirectly from the use of or reliance upon anything you read here. If you want to win a Darwin award, go for it. It’s a free country. Live the dream. But don’t blame us if you’re a twat.

This website may contain links to other websites provided by third parties. Retrofossal.com is not responsible for the content of such other websites either and disclaim all liability in respect of such websites and any content thereon to the maximum extent permitted by law. We reserve the right in our absolute discretion to prohibit any link from any other website to materials or information on this website without notice.

[important]Data Protection and Privacy[/important]

Rectofossal.com will only collect personal information from you which you have voluntarily provided by completing the enquiry forms on the website and / or which you have sent to us via email or by other means. If you provide us with your contact details, we may contact you. Or we may not.

If you don’t want your personal data collected or used, don’t bloody send it to us. If you do you agree that we may obtain, hold and use the personal information you provide for various purposes including, without limitation:

  • To respond to any enquiries you have made;
  • For the purpose of marketing products and services to you (by post, telephone, fax, email or other available method) unless you indicate or subsequently notify us that you do not wish to receive such material;
  • Storing and processing information in order to improve our websites, products and services;
  • For the prevention of fraud;
  • For any purpose required by law or regulatory authority;
  • For statistical purposes;
  • To turn you into a flesh-eating zombie (so we recommend you wear a tin foil hat while visiting this site).

You consent to the transfer of your personal information to countries outside the European Economic Area (where you may not receive the same protection for your personal information as the UK or EU), in the unlikely event that the processing of your personal information involves such a transfer.

We will not share, sell or distribute personal data to or with third parties unless: (i) the transfer of your data to third parties is necessary for the performance of the purposes above; (ii) you have consented to this; or (iii) this is required to enforce or apply our website terms and conditions or other agreements. But no information transmitted over the internet is entirely secure and while we will always use reasonable endeavours to protect your personal information, we cannot guarantee that any information you submit to us will be free from unauthorised third party use or intrusion. Therefore we cannot guarantee the security of your personal information nor and accordingly cannot accept any responsibility for any damage or loss caused as a result of you submitting information via this or any of our other websites.

We may collect information about you automatically when you visit the website. This information is not normally Personal Data within the meaning described in the Data Protection Act 1998 and may include information about your computer settings, your connection to the internet, your IP address, your browsing patterns and / or your geographical location. We may collect this information through the use of cookies.

[important]Trade Marks and Copyright[/important]

‘Chemex’ and the Chemex logo are registered trade marks of Chemex International Ltd. All our rights are reserved. Any third party trade marks used on this site are the property of their respective registered proprietors.

Access to this website is permitted on a temporary basis and we reserve the right to withdraw or amend the service without notice. You are responsible for making all arrangements necessary for you to have access to our website. You are also responsible for ensuring that all persons accessing the website through your connection are aware of these terms and that they comply with them.

Our policy is to carry out virus checks on any documents or files that we may post to this website, from time to time but we cannot guarantee that any download of such documents or files will be virus free. Accordingly, we do not accept any responsibility for any damage or loss caused by any virus, spyware, malware or any other such programs or code. For your own protection, we urge you to use up to date virus checking software when using the Internet. You must also virus check any document or file which you intend to provide to us via this or any of our other websites or email addresses and likewise you must not post or provide to us any document or file which you believe may contain a virus.

If we permit you to post or provide information on or via this or any of our other websites, you must ensure that such information does not contravene any applicable laws or infringe any person’s legal rights. We do not monitor or edit content posted or by third parties and accordingly we do not accept any responsibility for any damage or loss they may cause. There are a lot of twats on the Internet so – statistically speaking – there are bound to be some twats that post here, not least the author. We do reserve the right to ban anyone we feel like for arbitrary and capricious reasons. It’s our sandpit so it’s our rules so don’t kvetch about it.

[important]Email Policy[/important]

We will only send you emails that we believe you have expressed an interest in receiving. If you wish to unsubscribe from emails sent by us, you may do so at any time by clicking on the “unsubscribe” link that appears in all messages or via the ‘Contact’ page of the website. We only want to send info to people who want to receive it so if we cock up we’re sorry. Tell us and we’ll put it right.

We may monitor and/or keep records of email communications which you send to us in accordance with this policy.

[important]General[/important]

We reserve the right to vary or amend these terms and conditions from time to time and any such variations or amendments shall take immediate effect upon posting to this website. We therefore recommend you revisit these terms and conditions on a regular basis, especially if you suffer from insomnia.

A person who is not a party to these terms and conditions may not enforce any of its terms under the Contracts (Rights of Third Parties) Act 1999.

These terms and conditions are constructed under English Law and any claim or dispute arising between you and Chemex International Ltd in relation to this or any of our other websites shall be governed by English law. As such you agree to submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the English courts.

Any headings in these terms and conditions are for reference purposes only and shall not affect the construction of anything contained herein.

By visiting this website you agree to be bound by these terms and conditions. Because you can’t beat a bit of bondage, fnarr fnarr.